before a couple of years ago,
mystery drove me crazy. i wanted everything to fit into neat little black and white categories (that i understood). these last three years or so have been a journey (as if they rest of life hadn't been). of stopping. quitting my expectations of how life and God should work. of opening my heart to beauty and mystery. God has met me here so deeply.
but i can promise that were i to tell the stories of these meetings to someone still in black-and-white world, i'd at LEAST get a raised eyebrow, if not a "where is that found in the Bible?" lecture.
part of this process has been realizing how uniquely God designed me (and you). that sounds obvious, but i'm pretty sure before, i understood my place to be as a part of a
giant, undifferentiated blob. maybe each section with different "gifts", but not different in the way we relate to our Creator, to each other.
how wrong i was! God's plan has been to take me down a path i would have never traveled if he had not
hedged my way with thorns (hosea 2:6, speaking of how God gets israel to turn from other lovers back to himself, to his heart). toward creativity, toward knowing who i am,
toward his deep mysterious heart of love.
my world suddenly stopped fitting neatly in the boxes i had been given and so long cared for.
life became messy. and i was finally able to be truthful down in my soul, about my searching, my longing, my desires. desire so fathomless it cannot be met, except for by the one who is also fathomless.
i have long been wanting to post these abstract shots that i absolutely adore!
something about the structure of the grid, even though it's messy, and you can't quite tell what's going on besides it... and the color. so much beauty to my eye. and i'm sure not to everyone's! because God designed my creative soul to love rusty and torn and weathered. somehow that reflects him and how he loves us as we are, worn patina and all.
