2, 8, 9

the 3 of us have driven from 7pm-1am 4 out of the last 5 days... 6 hour trips to and from phoenix and king's canyon (i feel like i need to find a way to include the numbers 2, 8, 9 in that sentence, too, since the rest of the digits were used somewhere - lol).

first of all, we took the same drive through the desert that i'd taken midweek to go back to "art unraveled" for another art workshop... this one was taught by Patricia Baldwin Seggebruch, the premiere expert in encaustic techniques (to me - in all my playing with this medium, i've had only her book "encaustic art workshop" to go from)... it was great. i got to ask her a bunch of troubleshooting questions about things that have come up in my pieces as i've worked with encaustics, and i mostly just got to play! new techniques i'd never been able to get a good grasp on, like painting with pigmented encaustic paint and image transfers onto the wax, and then just making stuff! very therapeutic... i made more than a dozen "pieces" ranging from a 12x12" piece (the one of jason's face) to 3-dimensional baby food jars and lids... here's some of them!

meanwhile, during my restful and fun day, jason and joey were off having their own adventure - they went off-roading on the Apache Trail, and picnicked by one of the lakes out there.

then we all drove back together into the night again... here's an excerpt from my journal from that drive west on the 10 (and a shot of those amazing towers i talked about before):

"inky blackness broken only by the snaking yellow and red lights along the highway, and the milky way! have never seen so many stars. so little "light pollution" out here. but it's amazing how even the dim glow that headlights emit can darken the dazzling sky. light obscured by light. [insert profound metaphorical insight here.] heading back into the los angeles basin where youre lucky to see the big dipper or orion's belt, i just have to say: if God intended for us to see this many stars all the time... he wouldn't have invented the sun. [note: i think it was getting a little late when i was writing this part... lol]

the sterile coolness of the air conditioning versus the wildness of the wind...

dreaming of ways to turn my "drillbit measuring template" into an actual belt buckle [a byproduct of that found object jewelry class from earlier in the week]; i am suddenly snapped from my reverie by a huge falling star. it is green! and looks as though it must have crashed on the road directly ahead...

the wind becomes twice as brutal, attempting to dislodge my brooch-turned-makeshift-hair-flower, and i realize i'm in that magical place of the wind turbines... harness that energy! so strong and unruly! [the end of my random musings-while-driving :]"

so we drove there saturday night, back sunday night, and then monday night we took off for a camping adventure! we met some friends up in king's canyon (near hume lake/yosemite), and spent two full days hanging out in the forest and by the river, before driving back down wednesday night! we all feel amazingly rested after all that driving and all those escapades!

stream (in the desert) of consciousness

written during the 6-hour drive home from phoenix yesterday (no i was not looking at what i was writing - see picture ;) word-for-word and completely unedited (read: long) --



even the desert can be beautiful at the right time of day. when the shadows are long... when the scorching heat of midday has faded to the gentle arid warmth of evening... the scrubby little bushes dotting the landscape stand taller, highlighted by that last glow of evening sun even as it silhouettes the jagged distant shadowy purple mountains. even 18-wheelers carrying their loads look elegant in this late august sunset.

with coldplay filling the atmosphere inside my car, and blinded as i drive directly west with a grimy windshield, i begin to process the events of my day in phoenix.

i have never been a desert-lover (or even tolerater). so hot and utterly boring. couldn't fathom why anyone would choose to live there, or even think it beautiful. but these faint hues of amber and aubergine have just stirred my soul. or maybe it was the last day and a half of art i've been doing and contemplating.

huh. just had a thought: could it be that art is something i do, rather than make? "make" seems to imply that the goal is the finished piece, or at least some example of a new technique mastered... but doing art - that means that the process is the important part. the focus is on the artist's journey... from beginning to end, or somewhere in between. i often have to pause my artmaking (artdoing henceforth) with all the daily demands of life (and a studio space coexisting in the same room with my husband's office, and my 8-month-old's play area - affectionately referred to as "joey's cage" :) but when you "do art", it really tends to spill over into all sections of life. i become more creative in my cooking, or decorating, or letter-writing (haha when was the last time i sent a handwritten letter?? actually, tuesday :)

i wonder if the desert seems so peaceful to me because of its vast wide openness... in addition to the way all the lights and shadows are playing off each other - silhouetted bridges; all the trucks are orange as they reflect the already-set glow of the sun. the crest of the mountain range - or are those low clouds? mountains. this is the desert - radiant, as though there has been a layer of lava painted across its profile. windows down, the air is still too hot to leave the a/c off; but i can't help it - i love the wind.

i have always been much more drawn to the visual arts in my creative pursuits, and never been much of a wordsmith. but i feel right now that this prose flowing from my soul is a thing of beauty. not contrived. just natural expression through language. new for me! usually i feel that when i journal, it's simply an exercise in forcing my pen to complete thoughts that maybe aren't even important to my heart. or i start trying to process something my heart feels urgently needs to be dealt with, and instead all that comes out are stale words that could not possibly have any connection to the current state of my soul.

a quick note about - what are they called? those noble towers that stand elegant and intricate against the sky, stringing power lines across the barren land... whatever their name, they intrigue me and take my breath away when the last of the daylight steals away the remaining details of the desertscape surrounding me and all that is left are these industrial steel towers, stark and beautiful against the dusky sky. ah...

wonder if it's the spaciousness of the desert that makes it so peaceful (did i already say that?) - just a huge amount of extra soul-space. my heart can expand to fill not only my chest, but all the barely visible boundaries of this wilderness. roam wild and free. ahh.

ha. another love of mine is that barely light sky reflected in a body of water - i just passed some kind of aqueduct, and my breath caught. why is that so beautiful?

soon it will be night, and it will still be hot. the wind will ravage my hair as i open all the windows and just let its power blow over me and my soul... i will still have four hours of driving on into darkness, but this flood of inspiration cannot last. (can it?) so i reflect once more on the past 36 hours or so and revel in the beauty i have seen and been a part of. i never knew there were others so like-minded until yesterday. in a "found object jewelry" class with Keith LoBue, he had us take out a bit of our "stash" so we could start the juices flowing, then had us come to the front of the room for an exercise. and as i walked past other peoples' piles of rusty "stuff" and other junk (treasures), my heart leapt, and i couldn't help but exclaim aloud "there are other people like me in this world!" how very reassuring. there was an almost palpable camaraderie as people began peering at each other's things and proclaiming "junk envy" (while secretly knowing that their stash was really the best, having accumulated it personally over time).


someone ELSE'S pile! i know - you didn't think there were other people like me either!

we spent the whole first evening "making stuff" and i was unstoppable! the juices were definitely flowing. today was more of a learning day, with lots of invaluable lecture and demos (i texted jason at lunchtime that Keith was saving me months of trial and error in things i would have most certainly attempted in the near future). he gave away all his secrets (save one)!

i felt totally overloaded this afternoonm and couldn't really make anything. but now, with all this soul space, i want to get into the studio immediately, and create! use the new skills i learned today (before i go back and look at my notes and wonder "what does 'make a DAP donut' mean??" but first i have to drive home, sleep, take care of my boys, and go to the doctor (followup for that pinched nerve in my back that is MUCH better, thank you...) but we're all coming back to arizona on saturday for an encaustic workshop with patricia seggebruch - can't wait.

to be continued...

well that was a bust.

we had "done" that brentwood village summer festival (set up & sold art) a few weeks ago, and sold half a dozen items... which meant i took in double what i'd spent to be there, so even though it was slow, i had fun and it felt "sucessful" to me. i justified the few sales saying that it wasn't really the right venue for my stuff - lots of kids running around, wanting free pony rides and cotton candy; and not much traffic directed towards our booth isolated from the rest of the festival in the "artist" section... so i signed up for the Rose Bowl Flea Market - it said that 20,000 people come through every time they have it, and i was in the "arts and crafts" section, so it was perfect! i'd get lots of traffic, of people coming through looking for art, weird old and hip young people that my art would appeal to... and i had some lookers, but only TWO SALES in the entire 10-hour period i was there. makes me think it is more the product than the venue... maybe all this making art & selling it isn't gonna happen for me... i feel like all my dreams and aspirations have been... crushed. no excuses this time for why people weren't buying (although a lot of the other sellers said it was a super-slow sales day for them, too). a bunch of people who just "loved" the look of my stuff took business cards, promising to look me up on etsy later... so that's good, i guess - get my name out there. i just have felt super-depressed ever since it got over yesterday. i know it is still in my heart to make art - i need to be creative to thrive! but should i try to figure out what's "me" AND will sell? or just make stuff for my own personal use, and give up on trying to make money from it? i know this is not a very uplifting or inspirational post... but it's where i'm at, and i could use some feedback, too...!

something i've been thinking about this past week (and even today, despite my discouragement) is what my "style" is. in my art, home decorating, dress, etc... i've described it to jason before as "boho" (though i only have a rudimentary idea of what that even means)... today on the drive to starbucks i was thinking that i just love the "juxtaposition of the feminine and the industrial" (see pic of what i'm wearing today - super-girly, lacy, ruffle-y pink shirt and one of my recycled hardware STACK pendants - love it! lace and nuts - hey that's a good name for it all ;)


one lousy flea market day (most people seemed like they were there for the tommy bahama shirts and knockoff leather bags anyway) can't stop me! still need to process a bit more whether i'm gonna try to give so much of myself (and jason) to trying to sell it still, or just "play" and make art for my own soul's good... but i feel kind of excited to get my studion back in working order (we used all its furniture for my booth setup, and it has not returned to its place yet) and back to the "work (play)" of making art!! :)

the good, the bad, and the oh-so-cute...

it's been a rough couple of weeks... a lot of stress, relational drama, baby, etc... but we have so many people willing to give us a little help so we can rest and work through stuff. amazing. ashley came over on saturday for a couple hours while jason and i did some separate fun and restful things... then that night, kristi babysat so we could go on a date! and we were still desperate for some time to talk sunday night, so kimmy & julie & kristi all came and hung out with joey while jason and i greabbed some food and talked for half an hour (amazing how much talk and connection time you can fit into that short span when it's all you've got!). then yesterday all day i was just in need of some time, and no one was able to come, but then kristi just showed up in the afternoon, and i handed joey off to her immediately... then when jason got home, she took joey with her to the horses while we got some more talk time - amazing! and now dana is at our house right now so i can finally get a little ALONE time (none of that was, and it has been desperately needed)! wow - it looks like even more once i write it out! we are so thankful for these dear friends and sisters who just give of their time for us (under the pretense that they're just glad for some "joey time" :)

anyone else want some joey time? (see picture ;)

joey at Maurice & Joanne's wedding rehearsal (practicing to be the ring bearer)

but... this saturday i'm gonna be showing and selling my art in a festival! the Brentwood Village Summer Festival this saturday from 11-3 (come visit me!) so we've been getting all ready for that! here's a few art pieces i've been making to have ready by then:

titled "math is abstract 1-4"

and here's my business card that jason went and had made after i designed them, ready to hand out to all my (potential and actual) buyers:

recent developments...

i can't believe it's been so long since i posted (or since jenna or kelsey did ;)! so much has happened during that time, too! when i posted last, the most exciting stuff was happening and i wanted to post about it, but decided i needed to post about that artsycrafty club night first, and then catch up with the exciting stuff the next day... and then never did! so... drumroll......

i opened shop on etsy!! it's been open 2 weeks now! so fun and exciting!! especially the first couple of days - i got all this traffic, and people were contacting me asking for custom pieces (both the pendants and the beeswax pieces) and asking me to be in art festivals...! things have slowed down since then - i need to post more items for sale soon!

also in the last couple of weeks:
*artsycrafty club #3 - cardmaking (half of us worked on jessica's bridal shower invitations the whole time :)
*jason went off-roading for a couple of days, and joey and i had fun being just the 2 of us :) we joined a mom's group that meets on friday mornings, and it was SO therapeutic to just talk about what it's like to have kids, and realize i'm normal and joey's normal! we also went yard-saling while he was gone, and found a few treasures... then we went when he got back, too, and hit the jackpot at a yard sale in uptown that was full of old rusty tools and hardware!

*shipped my first custom pendant order to North Carolina! and she loves it!


*my first mother's day - AMAZING! jason gave me the "day off" from taking care of joey... i mean i still hung out with him and fed him, but jason took charge of any and all problem-solving for the day (is he fussing 'cause he's hungry? or tired? dirty diaper? it was a wonderful and much-needed break for me! poor jason got so tired partway through the day (which was kind of validating for me - this motherhood job feels so hard and exhausting, and i sometimes wonder if it's just me... it's not!) but he was a champ and lasted the whole day! and he bought me a travel mug on etsy which was fun :)
*i made my first etsy purchases: some patinaed headpins (still not quite sure what they are or what they're for, but they're gorgeous and i've been using them in some of my newer STACK pendants!) and a burlap coffee sack (i have big plans for this one ;)
*started cleaning my own house again (for the past year, my sister has been coming once a week to clean the bathroom and kitchen - my mother's day present from last year! sad to see that one be over... her new gift for this year, though, was free babysitting once a week for a year! heck yeah! we already went on a date to BJ's!)
*getting ready for jason's brother maurice's wedding this week! joey tried on his little white tux (he's gonna be the ring bearer!! pulled in a wagon by the flower girl! how cute is that???)... i've been painting and distressing old antique books for the centerpieces... and we leave today for a 3-day wedding extravaganza in murrieta, starting with the rehearsal tonight!
*today is joey's half birthday!!! he's 6 MONTHS OLD now! crazy.

artsycrafty club

we had our second "artsycrafty club" meeting last week - so fun! this time we went less "crafty" and more "artsy", which was a little out of people's comfort zones... but they still had fun & learned something new, and stretched their creativity a bit! we hand-altered photos that mostly had been rejected from our albums and scrapbooks, and made them into little works of art and inspiration! i'm sure i had more fun than anyone... :)
here's an overview shot of all the ones i did that day:

and some closeups of some of my favorites (i forgot to take pictures that night, so i didn't get pix of anyone else's - oops!)

everyone wanted to know what we were going to "do" with them... my idea had been just to have this as a little creative exercise, but i had a couple of ideas of what the final resting places of these little artworks could be... here's what i ended up doing: putting them, along with an index card opposite each photo, all into a little flip photo album that i carry around in my purse with me, and when i have a little down time (pumping gas, waiting for whatever), i pull it out and journal in response each piece. i've only done a few s far, but each time, i've learned something about myself that i didn't know! i am one of those "external processors", where i don't think/process much alone, but once i start talking, i figure out what i'm feeling or wanting, etc. so journaling does that, too, and it's especially revealing when i journal about art that includes shots of me or a little piece of me in some way...


the first club meeting, each person went home with a tiny pink box full of unknown "treasures" and the (unrequired) homework was to open it up and make something out of what was inside... kristi & i were the only ones who brought something back this time (i've decided this will be the official "initiation" into the club - once each person completes their piece, they'll get like a membership something-or-other)... and, again, i forgot to take pictures of kristi's pencil holder, but here's mine:


heather said it looked like "christmas frosting"... not sure what that is, but it sounds delightful!

more walks, more beauty

amazing the things you notice when you stop and look. i run and walk past things every day that, when i take time to look, are amazing... i have been longing more and more lately to live somewhere beautiful. montana, colorado, the beach, the mountains, hawai'i. i want it to all be just outside my door or window. so tired of the asphalt and concrete. but there are these moments... when the little details are just so beautiful and intricate... when i can show the world to my son, and my son to the world... when the wind blows so powerfully that it stirs my soul... that i am awed. thankful for the bits of beauty in MY world.

how did i get such a beautiful baby boy?

joey & his daddy go on walks too! they are so cute!!

oops

so we got this amazing package from jason's aunt a couple days ago... it had a children's bible and "i'll love you forever" both with awesome sweet notes from his aunt (and grandma posthumously), a couple of handmade blankets, including this one with an airplane just like the one i painted on the wall in his nursery, and his name... except it's not his name... joey's name is josiah! and this same aunt made a blanket in the same style for jason's mom that said "josiah", but all the little notes in the package, and the blanket WE got all say "joshua"... LOL (she'll laugh about it too someday ;)

soul project

my spiritual director and i were talking about joey and his wonder as he explores the world around him... and how "sensing" he is, and that i'm just like that - take everything in as i see, hear, taste, smell, feel it... how i love textures and find so much beauty around me... so she gave me a "soul project". she sent me out to take a walk with joey and talk with him about all the beauty we saw. then later, i'm supposed to process that walk and the beauty as though it was God showing ME the beautiful things (he's made many of them just because he knows how much we'll delight in their beauty) and talk to him about it... haven't done that part yet, but the walk with joey was awesome! i showed him all the things i found beautiful, even taking him out of his stroller if he couldn't see it from where he was.

and i got to see some things from his perspective that i would never have noticed otherwise.


joey, what are you looking at? ...oh!



something that has always kind of bothered me is how beautiful i find rusty objects. i mean, they're like decomposing! and it's always man-made stuff that is rusty and i find so fascinating - shouldn't i be so much more inspired by "nature"? flowers and animals and stuff? but i was thinking on this walk that God made rust, too... he made iron and he made it with the property that it begins to rust when exposed to weathering forces... now, there is probably some practical purpose in that, but couldn't it be, too, that he made it work that way because he knew it would delight people like me? that the history and texture something like rust adds to an object would just be a joy to some people he loves? just pondering...

my community

i have been thinking that i need people in my life. people besides my husband and my baby. i need "community" with like-minded people... so... i invited a bunch of my facebook friends to join an ArtsyCrafty Club, hosted by me, and come play! we had our first meeting thursday night and it was SO fun :) everyone who came has also come to my birthday parties in the past, and they love me... and i was so rejuvenated at the end of the night! i don't know if it was that or the iced tea, but i couldn't fall asleep that night 'cause i felt so happy - happy to have spent time with people that care about me (and vice versa), happy to be creating... we did a "mixed - media recipe card swap" for our first evening together. here are some of the results!

meanwhile, jason took joey to the doctor and came home with antibiotics :( he has an ear infection and some "chest congestion" left over from his cold a couple weeks ago. he was acting weird for a few days after this, so we stopped giving him the cough medicine... and i think he's back to himself now...

(i think most of the people actually came to see joey, so they were glad when he showed up before they left ;) here, he's attacking lynda's face and pulling up his shirt at the same time - check out that chub! ha!

on a ROLL!

"there sure are a lot of pictures in this post," you say. and you are right - because everything on this post i made in two days time (and jason wasn't even on spring break anymore!!)! and i have so many more ideas rumbling around...! i only stopped because i ran out of wood blocks... time for a trip to home depot!