but what about those days when "enjoying" him seem so hard? those days when he destroys things you love, and pulls hair, and hits and kicks (his mother!), does the opposite of whatever you tell him, despite numerous "disciplinings"... those days, like today, when he refuses to nap, but spends 2 hours in bed calling for mommy in between crying and happily talking to himself. for some reason, i cannot seem to "cope" on those days. not on top of the nausea and exhaustion...
and then it becomes a choice, even when it doesn't feel like it. a choice to love like jesus in the midst of it. i thought that today - that this must be how it feels to keep pursuing and loving someone (like me) who isn't always very lovable... and i have one of the most adorable boys in the world (no bias here ;)! i look at these pictures and think of all the sweet moments, too. he really is the best.

if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

i wanna do a mustache, mom! just ONE.

the outfit he insisted on wearing yesterday haha

every time he wears glasses, i think he looks like ralphie from A Christmas story

snuggling with my preggo belly

so why am i posting midafternoon on facebook: "anyone want a really cute 2-year-old?" because i forget. that motherhood has never claimed to be easy. that just surviving can "get you through", but you both lose something in the process. that eucharisteo can be hard but always brings joy (can you tell i read Ann Voskamp's "One thousand Gifts" recently? :) i started a gratitude journal (because of Ann & Misty) last month while i was in Hawaii (so it was not one that was erased by the rain :), and thought i'd let you all thank God with me in them... here's the first few, the ones from march:

1. prose that reads like poetry to my deepest soul, awakening what has been hardened and hidden

2. moments of quiet rest, when my little whirlwind is asleep or cared for by another

3. my little whirlwind 

4. being mothered when i'm sick - food brought and kisses on the head

5. an invitation to an abundant life

6. my cuddly-jammied 2-year old still wants me to hold him and sing to him before bed

7. the truth that comes to me even in kids' songs... every night i sing "the thankfulness song" to my boy, and never really listened to it until last night after starting my eucharisteo journal

8. "you don't feel good, mommy?" no, buddy. *kiss* "you feel better?" over and over again...

9. cuddly naps with joey (and baby monkey and flopper and bear and blanket... ;) their rarity increases their preciousness