Sunday, August 28, 2011

why does lying in bed awake at night inspire me so much?! it’s then that so many ideas for creating and writing start pouring out! it’s not JUST the time of day, cause if i was UP during those hours, i would not feel the same… probably because i would still be trying to fit as many things as possible into my day – all the organizing, reading, sorting, cleaning, learning that’s been on my to do list all day. but once i’m in bed, i’m not doing my “to-do”s anymore. i’m lying still, resting… and i guess my inspiration has a chance to catch up with me (on those rare nights that i don’t hit the bed already asleep from the exhaustion of the day).

like tonight, my mind was just going wherever, and i remembered the fact that the only 2 doctors who have ever put a scalpel to me were both born in Colombia ON THE SAME DAY. weird. somehow they ended up here in the same practice. one did my c-section, and one released my gallbladder… so then stream of consciousness, i thought, “and my father-in-law’s Colombian”… and tonight when we were deciding what to do, we talked about the movie theater, and the movie Colombiana that’s playing right now, and i immediately remembered the “colombiana” soda we were drinking this afternoon! such a strange assortment of events to all come together in one night in one mind. after this, i also realized that this means my son is a fourth Colombian (my husband being half), a fourth Argentinian, and the other half (my half) EuroAmerican mutt… oh, my stream of consciousness (and, yes, even at this late hour, i do realize that this is probably not exciting to anyone but me ;)

and on that note, here's some shots of "the little details" of another time that i got to stop and relax and allow the present to catch up with me, take in life, enjoy beauty... our anniversary trip to catalina (if you want to see my outfits from that trip, and my handsome husband, go here)
















don't you love the little details? a kiss, a silhouette, a reflection, an amazing compilation of color and shape and rust and sky in that last shot...
ps. i just discovered how to update to the new version of blogger, so post should be better formatted in the future :) it wouldn't let me fix this one though...

Friday, August 26, 2011

first of all, i just HAD to post this picture. my sister took it (& instagrammed) last night during joey's bath. and i just think it proves hoe irresistibly cute my son is! so i had to share ;)

i also wanted to share this piece that i made at least a year ago, but has now been strategically placed in our house where people can actually see it, and there have been endless comments (and many requests to help them make their own!) so i thought i'd do a DIY on here. i'm pretty sure i got this technique from a book (maybe Image Transfer Workshop by McElroy & Wilson? - yep, i just looked - page 20 :) - it's called making a "gel skin". they used it to include in a mixed-media art piece, as the top layer to show the rest of the layers underneath, while still showcasing the image. of course, i did my own "take" on it (as usual), and just used the gel skin itself as a work of art! you choose - here's how:

1. print out a laserjet copy of the picture you want to use (you could even do color if you had color laserjet capabilities). you're gonna want to increase the contrast some, to get a more striking image.

2. paint on a layer of gel medium (of course, most mixed-media artists will tell you, use Golden brand, but really any that they sell in the art aisle at michael's have worked fine for me! and since i'm not a "real artist", i can tell you that, and shop there ;). let dry.

3. repeat 3-4 times. let dry overnight.

4. soak the back with a spray bottle, let it soak in, then begin rolling off the paper with your fingers (gently, so you don't tear the image! but it does take some pressure - you'll get it with practice :) until all the paper backing has been removed, and you are left with your "gel skin"!

5. if you want the look i created here, take the backing out of a stand-alone frame, and simply "stick" your gel skin to the back of the inside glass! it should adhere like one of those "window cling" thingys.

or, do something totally different with it! and tell me about it! :)
this is actually the back of the piece - that's why everyone loves it so much! with where we placed it (see below) strategically between two rooms, you can see it from both, and with very different effects - here, the afternoon light is shining through it, which just makes it luminescent (yeah, that's pretty much the definition of luminescent, but whatever ;).

please ignore all the smudges and scratches on the sliding glass door here (i have a toddler! and i am home alone, and just had my gallbladder surgically removed 3 days ago, or else i might've cleaned it! ok, probably not. but here, i did the next best thing - edit in photoshop so they're much less visible ;)

ah, finally, a shot of the twice-before-noted strategic placement of the piece that engendered all the comments
(this is also one of my new favorite "comfy" spots in the house after we did a little rearranging last week :)

Friday, August 12, 2011

How he loves...

I just had one of those moments - you know when people talk about seeing their kid and realizing how God sees them? With so much grace and love? I always feel guilty when I hear people say that. Of course I love my son, and he often delights me with just being himself. But he also frequently drains me. Demands and I feel I dont have enough to give. I think instead how much I am NOT like God as a parent - how infinitely greater a father he is than I could ever be as a mother.
But tonight...
It's just after 11 now, and I haven't been able to fall asleep (a combination of having too much sweet tea to make it through the worn hours of the evening, and the beckoning prospect of reading The Help - trying to finish it by Sunday when some friends are going to see the movie :). So I was much less annoyed and weary this time when Joey woke up three hours into his night's sleep. Just beginning to whimper and cry out intermittently, I could tell he was feeling agitated. I had the deep and sudden desire to run in there and catch him up in my arms of pure mother's love. But he's had issues sleeping lately, and I've been trying to get him back to being able to sleep through the night without extra doses of warm milk and eighteen lullabies.
So I waited to see if he'd drop back off to sleep, ignoring my urge to run in there.
But I started to really feel a push to go in, snatch him up, and just love on him. Like it was God's spirit within my own. So once I realized that, all caution thrown to the wind, I rushed in. Picked him up to hold him against my chest. But he was so in between sleeping and waking, and so agitated, he fought me! Well, THAT was unexpected. He usually melts into my arms once I come to rescue him in the middle of the night. He kept crying out as though I wasnt even holding him, and began yelling out that he wanted milk. I told him okay, I'd get him some. Headed to the kitchen to warm it up to his perfect taste, he was yelling and fighting the whole time. I scooped him up again, and he was just arching and crying. Saying "milk" but refusing it when I offered it. Like he was oblivious to the fact that I was giving him exactly what he needed - mom's cuddles and comfort and deep love - AND what he'd asked for - milk. He finally stopped thrashing long enough to get the cup in his mouth, and he succumbed.
I let him drink for minute before starting my soft humming "oh how he loves us" - a song I sing with his lullabies pretty much every night - had just sung (along with my husband, at joey's request ;) three hours earlier in the same rocking chair. He told me no. Didn't want my song. But I kept humming and holding and loving and feeding and nurturing. And soon he'd relaxed into my embrace, contentedly sucking his midnight snack, and asking for more singing when there was a lull. No longer fighting. When he had had enough, he turned to me and said sweetly " all done" as only a toddler can, and then "nunnight".

I finished my song with tears in my eyes as I began to see the similarities between these moments with my son, and how we (I) so often treat God. He comes to our cry, longing and delighting to meet our needs, to connect with us in our desires. And we fight him. Treat him like the enemy. Like we know better how it is our needs should be met. Joey seemed so angry tonight. How often we arch against His sweet embrace, bent on OUR way. When what we really need and so deeply yearn for is right there. He is so willing. Loves to look past our immaturity and delight in the real person. Thank you God, for another reminder that you never give up on me, and are always waiting for me to turn and run back into your arms again.


He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane - I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy
And all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions, eclipsed by glory
And I realized just how beautiful you are
And how great your affections are for me
Oh, how he loves us
Oh, how he loves us
How he loves us, oh


Yeah, he loves us
Oh, how he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves...
And we are his portion, and he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
If his grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way that
He loves us
Oh, how he loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh how he loves...
(how he loves by John Mark McMillan)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

accidental art

it seems that the best blogging time for me is when i can't sleep at night. i thought tonight was going to be such a night - had coffee late in the afternoon, had an impromptu hip-hop dance party, was getting stuff cleaned and organized... when jason was ready for bed. and i fell right to sleep! ...only to be awakened an hour later by joey, who i discovered had a fever. 102.9 by my thermometer (which i don't trust - it usually says my body temperature is like 97, much lower than it actually is). so i took care of him, but then lay WIDE awake in bed for a while... before deciding to make good use of this time of having energy...! so i already posted on my other blog, and then i remembered i promised a post here about "accidental art" a few weeks ago. i've had all these pictures just waiting to share with you! so i guess now's the time!a little about "accidental art": i started keeping my eyes open when i was reading "How to be an explorer of the world" by Keri Smith. her basic premise is one of being more aware of the world, and as i have been on a quest to become ever more fully "present", i took on some of her assignments... this was "exploration #27", and the goal was to find accidental art - things that were not created on purpose (eg paint spills, things that have rusted or cracked from their original state, etc). i was amazed when i opened my eyes, how much more i saw than i would have walking the same route any other day. i hope you find some of these as delightful as i do!







oh, the colors and the textures! couldn't have done it better if they'd tried! my favorite ones were the painted jungle gym (below) that have gone through layer after layer every year, only to get worn off and redone once again... beautiful!